Life was a curveball. There was no way to escape seeds that were sown years back. Jade believed the universe was paying him back for his wildness in the past. Life was unforgiving: she would wait until you became very comfortable before she served you with chilled karma.
Jade regretted running away from Delilah. He should have ended that relationship more maturely. If he had, she wouldn’t have returned to cause him grief. His calves began to ache. Only then did he realise he had walked from his house in pursuit of Bech. He stopped, sat on a short wall around a flower bed, and dropped his head between his thighs. What a mess.
When he raised his head, his eyes were glistening and his heart was thumping a little faster. The events of the past few hours kept replaying in horrible detail. What he should have done when Delilah walked into his house uninvited played out in 3D in his mind and he felt his heart tear a bit. He had to find Bech and tell her his side of the story. He should have done that a long time ago. He recalled one instance when they had been alone in the open-air bar and he had opened up about his childhood. He had seen the compassion in Bech’s eyes. He knew she would have understood him but he had been too timid to let it out.
He shot up and forged on towards Bech’s house. He counted on Bech’s introverted nature and hoped she was crying at home alone.
He was not lucky tonight; no taxi stopped for him so he walked some, then jogged some, all in a bid to reach Bech early.
A few blocks away from Bech’s, a car sped past him, forcing him to jump aside, barely avoiding ruining the pretty garden on the sidewalk. It was too late to see the car or its registration number when he regained his balance. He restrained himself from shouting after the car; he was reserving his energy and common sense for Bech. But he was exhausted and he was sweating.
Not long after, he arrived at Bech’s residence. There was no light on; Bech loved lights. He took in deep breaths before approaching the door and rapping the door three times. No response. He knocked again and tested the door handle. It didn’t budge. Perhaps she didn’t come home. But where could she be?
Jade considered waiting at her doorstep or checking various hangout spots in hopes of seeing her. If he waited here, whatever drama would ensue after she saw him would stay in her house. If he saw her in town, she might accuse him of stalking her, thereby embarrassing him in public and defeating his purpose. He didn’t want any publicity in his private life, least of all one that involved Bech. He was sincere about getting things right with her.
He sat on the top step. Why was he all worked up about Bech? He had not formally proposed a relationship with her, neither had she suggested in any way that he was interested in him. What was he looking for, then? He sighed. Bech represented wholeness and purity for him. In Bech, he saw redemption. A clean slate. Even if she did not date him eventually, at this point, he wanted to come clean to Bech.
While Jade sat in front of Bech’s door, Bech was at the open-air bar, crying. Lily was with her still, consoling her. Lily checked the time: they had been there for a while and it was getting dark.
“Come on, let’s go home,” Lily suggested.
“Why?” Bech asked, her voice raspy from all the tears. “What’s there for me?”
“Your bed?”
Bech chuckled. Indeed. They walked out together and into Bech’s car. When she started the car, she asked her friend, “What is wrong with me?” She shook her head, and continued, “He has never hinted at anything. We’re not even in a relationship. Why am I so distraught? It was just one kiss. It couldn’t mean anything. Ha!” Bech wiped the rest of her tears.
Lily was quiet. Bech engaged the engine and headed towards Lily’s house. After assuring Lily that she would be fine, Lily got out of the car and Bech continued homeward, her mind in turmoil. She had told Lily she would be fine, but she knew she would spend the night thinking about Jade. Why had he kissed her? Why had he tried to speak with her after the kiss when she avoided him? What was he about to tell her before Lily came in to interrupt them? She sighed. She would never know now. She doubted she would go to Jade’s house or cross paths with him again.
As she turned into her driveway, she saw the slumped figure in front of her door. She parked and jumped out of her car. Concern overrode her heartbreak and rushed to the stranger – only he wasn’t a stranger. She frowned.
“Jade, get up.”
“Bech!” Jade sat up and stretched his legs, wincing as blood rushed into them. “I was waiting for you.” He stood up gingerly and shook his limbs.
“You shouldn’t have. The weather is not friendly outside.”
“I needed to speak with you alone. Please.”
Bech sighed. She didn’t want to have anything to do with him but he had waited for her. She could be courteous to let him in for warmth at least, before sending him on his way. He definitely was not sleeping in her house tonight. She unlocked her door and ushered him into her hall. Her mug of chocolate had gone completely cold. The mess was pretty much just as she left it.
“Make yourself comfortable and be quick with what you have to say. I need to sleep.”
Jade remained standing. He watched her carefully as she hung her key and set aside a few things to sit down. He watched her sigh, close her eyes, and rotate her neck. And he felt a small flame in his heart. Was this what they called hope?
Bech opened her eyes to see Jade watching her with a strange expression. “Yes?”
Jade took a deep breath. Now or never.
“Bech, I have a wild past, one that I thought I had left behind me to start afresh here, with you…,” Bech rolled her eyes but Jade continued anyway. “Girls threw themselves at me. I tried to let them down gently but they would insist on having a fling with me. I didn’t want to hurt anyone.” He paused. He had never wanted to share this part of him with anyone. The memory was still too much to bear… His mother… God, how he missed her. He took a deep breath to steady himself. Men don’t cry, and Bech would not be moved by his tears tonight. So he forged on and told her his deepest secret.
“My mother died in my arms when I was 12, Bech. And that was because my father didn’t care about her. He didn’t believe her, that she was critically ill. He didn’t believe she loved him enough.” Jade paused, his emotions coming to the fore. Bech remained where she was. “I could never look at a woman who likes me and turn her away. When I saw a woman, I saw my own mother dying…” Jade choked but cleared his throat quickly.
He continued, “So when they proposed to me, I couldn’t turn them down. I felt like I was my father denying my mother the love she needed. What if these girls committed suicide as they threatened?” He paused, cleared his throat again, and continued, “Sometimes, we signed agreements as to how long that fling would last, after which I was free to go my way. This isn’t the kind of life I want to have forever. Those girls… they paid me to be their man. Sometimes, after they had paid, I would talk to them like my sister for them to see the folly of their actions. None of them has been in my bed, except for my real girlfriend who died some years back.”
“Really? You want me to believe that?” Bech looked incredulous.
“I want you to, Bech, but as things are now, I can’t,” Jade replied.
“What about Delilah?”
Jade shook his head. This was harder than he expected. “Delilah… hmm… Delilah was a big mistake. She took our contract beyond the terms. She didn’t want me to talk to any other woman apart from her, I could not speak with my female friends or say “hello” to hers. She suffocated me. So, when the contract ended, I told her I was done and wanted to move on. In fact, I had decided that she was the last person I had such an affair with. I wanted a real life with a real woman, not some terminal contract. But she wouldn’t budge. Unknown to me, she had informed her friends and family members that we were getting married after she finished secondary school. Now, you tell me, Bech: what was I to do when I found out? I wasn’t ready to marry. So, I ran. And now she has found me and is bent on destroying me and anyone I care about.”
Bech looked at him. How did he expect her to believe such a story?
Jade saw the expressionless face and knew he had lost her. She didn’t believe him, but he felt free at last. The weight had been lifted. “Bech, I would love to have a real relationship with you. That kiss… you can’t deny there were many things in that kiss. There was passion, hope…” he walked towards Bech, who seemed paralyzed in the chair. “I won’t rush you, but I want to be yours.”
As if struck by the gods, Bech suddenly shot out of her chair and told him levelly, “Get out, Jade, and don’t come back here. What do you take me for? A teenager? How do you sell me this story? Get out.”
Jade was shocked. “Bech? You have to believe me.”
“When pigs fly. Out. Please.”
Jade walked out of Bech’s hall dejected. There was no hope for him now. Delilah could do her worst; he had lost everything.
