David and Melissa sat facing each other that bright afternoon at Pizza Hut. If only their mood was as bright as the weather… if only Melissa had been bolder… if only David had been more encouraging… if only there were not so many “if only’s”.
David sighed loudly and he got curious stares from the other customers at Pizza Hut. He did not care about anyone at that moment; he was more concerned about the loss of his lover to another man. At the thought of the other man (whoever he was), David’s brow creased in a frown which lasted merely a moment – he did not want Melissa to see how much he was affected by her news.
“You didn’t want what I had to offer, Dave”, Melissa said quietly. “And I wanted more than you were willing to give.”
“But you had me. What more was there to give you? I could have provided if you had just opened up to me! I wanted you…”
“You didn’t. Well, not as I wanted to be wanted. You just wanted your flesh to be satisfied…”
“Are you saying that you did not enjoy our time together? Are you accusing me of being selfish?!” David cut in hotly. Why, he thought their affair was mutual!
“No. No, David. Don’t misunderstand. I’m only saying that you were more interested in that than you were in me.”
David leaned back. He was drained already. How could she have trampled on his heart that way? He actually believed that they had something good going. What happened?!
“I loved you, David. But you didn’t want love then.”
Love? Did Melissa just say “love”? When did love happen? “You loved me?” His shock was genuine.
“Yes, I did. Didn’t you realize it? I did some of those pictures because you asked me to. I did a lot of things simply because it was you who wanted them to be done. I thought that if I kept you happy that way, you might have real feelings for me.” Melissa shrugged. “That never happened. And that’s why I moved on. When I met this guy, he gave me everything without asking for anything in return. Unlike you who wanted something in return for everything you did for me. It was as if you were doing me a favour by being with me.” When David’s eyes widened, she added, “That’s what I thought. This guy wants nothing. He makes me happy.”
“Is he better in bed than I am?” David asked quietly.
“It’s not about sex, David. It’s more than just sex. He… he…” Melissa fumbled for words and brightened up when they occurred to her, “He touches my very soul. Like a soul mate.” Melissa breathed, satisfied that she had put her feelings into words at last.
“But why didn’t you tell me that you were developing feelings for me?”
Melissa sighed. What difference would it have made if she had told him? He would have spat it in her face if things started going downhill, and he would have had his best manipulative hand over her. She could not tell him all these, of course. She didn’t want another argument so she tried responding diplomatically, “We had an agreement when we started this relationship. No strings attached, remember?”
David stiffened for a moment and then relaxed. He remembered vividly. Why, he was the composer and campaigner of that slogan. He recalled that they were having one of their usual late-night cozy conversations about love, sex, and relationships and he had mentioned that his recent ex-girlfriend had lied and cheated and as a result, he was not interested in love anymore. He wasn’t even sure he believed that true love among humans existed. He had then asked Melissa if she thought they might make a good couple. Melissa had said “No”. In the light of the ongoing conversation, she would have been quite silly if she had answered otherwise. After all, David had added, it was better when there were no strings attached as it was easier to part ways.
“I did not expect to love you, David. I guess I got too involved and comfortable with you as we kept spending time together, fighting and resolving them, your talent with the saxophone – oh I loved watching you make tunes from the saxophone; it made me feel as if you were sending me a message of love and adoration.” Melissa paused and took a sip of her milk shake. “But it doesn’t matter now, does it? You did not have feelings for me then – that was clear enough: any time we had to talk about it you told me that you’d rather groom horses. And it’s not that you’ve suddenly developed feelings for me…”
“But I might have had feelings for you too! Did you stop to consider that? Did you stop to think about why I got jealous when I called and you were hanging out with your buddies? Did you think about why I told you that you should not have any other man apart from me? Oh, what did you make of my “I love you” at the end of every conversation?” David squinted hard at Melissa, piercing her with his dagger eyes.
Melissa looked blank. She had thought about them, yes, but she had never really imagined that they could mean anything to him – it had meant so much to her. “Did you mean them?” She asked him quietly, beginning to feel guilty.
“Hell yes, I did! Why would I leave work and spend lunch periods with you?! Why would I stay up late on the phone with you?! How else does a man show love to a woman, Melissa?!”
Melissa slumped in her seat. How could she have misinterpreted these signs? She had thought he was making time just to satisfy his lust, and she had enjoyed pleasing him too. Why didn’t he say something then?! It was too late now: she was engaged to another man.
“I can’t let you go, Mel. I won’t.” David said, shaking his head.
“You don’t have a choice now. We can’t be together anymore. I…” Melissa choked on the tears she was trying to keep at bay. She shook her head and blinked five times in quick succession then she continued, “I am to be wed to another man. There is nothing we can do. We have to get over each other, David. We are done.”
“Leave him now! Let’s elope! We will go to a place where no one will find us and start all over!” David suggested wildly and hopelessly.
“Oh David, no! He’s an honourable man. I can’t do that to him. It’s not fair to him.”
“Is it fair to me? You left me!”
“Oh David!”
“We can get married…”
“Would you want that to be done to you?” Melissa asked David quietly.
“I don’t care.”
“Our time is past. The future is here. Let’s look forward to it. I hope you will meet a woman who will make you forget the hurt and cause you to love truly again.”
With that said, Melissa got up from the chair, put half of their bill on the table and turned towards the exit, mentally and physically doing her best not to look back. David just sat there, drained, and watched his love walk away and into another man’s welcoming arms.
