“KK, I’m in your hood. Can we meet?” Randy’s smooth baritone poured from Kokui’s mobile phone.
“Yeah, sure. Where are you exactly?”
“Your gate. And now your compound.” Randy finished with a smile as he heard her shrieks over the phone. He had achieved one aim for the evening; now, on to the greater hurdle.
Kokui came flying out of her room straight into him. “I was thinking about you just now!” she said into his neck.
“And here I am. You conjured me from the setting sun.” Randy laughed. His heart grew bigger than his chest.
“Come on in,” Kokui said as she pulled him. Randy hesitated briefly before allowing himself to be led into the hall that was also her bedroom. As usual, she had arranged everything so well that only the bed gave her accommodation away. Randy admired her sense of organization and interior; she gave her environment a welcoming feel. Only what he felt kept him from being drawn into it.
Kokui brought him water and sat very close to him on the bed. Who would have thought she had met him only a week ago? Their level of intimacy had grown in the past seven days; she felt they had known each other all their lives.
After Randy put the water away, Kokui snuggled into him, and he put his arm around her while her hand lay lightly on his thigh. He hoped she didn’t see how that simple touch affected him, and he wondered how she would react if she knew. He didn’t have to wait long to find out, for just then, she ran her index finger along the flap of his jeans trousers and said softly, “It’s hard.”
“Yes, KK.” Randy croaked and cleared his throat. “Jeans are … ah usually…” he swallowed… “hard.”
“Funny. You know what I mean.” Then she raised her head to look up at him… so close, yet…
“KK?”
“Mm?”
“I’ve been thinking about you.” Randy cleared his throat again.
“Me too…” Kokui’s eyes were glazed. “I like you, Randy. I like how you think and how you make me feel. It’s weird.”
“I like you, too. I smile whenever I think of you, and the little man responds too,” Randy shrugged. “You’re a smart girl. Effortlessly smart.” He pinched her chin and hugged her tightly.
Kokui noticed the shift in the atmosphere. She felt safe. That was odd for someone she had known only a few days. She pulled back from Randy to see him smiling at her. Then he said, “I’ve thought of kissing you many times in the last seven days…”
“Why don’t you do it? I won’t stop you.”
“I know you won’t. We only met but we share something profound and I want to keep it forever.”
Kokui raised an eyebrow as Randy sat straighter and held her hands in his. Things were escalating fast. She sensed Randy had more to say so she sat up with rapt attention.
“I’ve been thinking about you a lot and in many unholy ways too. But whenever we are together, I feel there’s more to us than just our physical reaction to each other. I know you know there’s something between us. It was there in the library last week when we first spoke. That’s what made me take your number. And to be honest, I have never been so damn sexually attracted to any other woman like I am to you. I…”
Kokui didn’t let him finish. Tomorrow, she would think about the consequences. Tomorrow, she would have time to regret it. But they were here today, and he had just admitted to the attraction she knew existed between them. So, she kissed him fully, confirming that they were as soft as she thought they would be.
Desire quickly overtook the shock of her kiss, and Randy held her as he poured all the seven days of his daydreams into her. This wasn’t why he came, but why couldn’t he have it all? He returned her kiss with equal fire, his rationality returning only when she touched his torso under his t-shirt. It took all of Randy’s will to break the contact.
Kokui was smug. “Now I know how those lips taste. And I have no regrets.”
“I want us to be friends.” Randy blurted.
“And what are we? Randy, we have shared so much in the past few days I feel like you’ve been in my life forever. This thing has been simmering from day one. It was bound to happen.” Kokui spoke with newfound confidence.
“You don’t feel guilty?”
“Do you? Did you not like it? Come on, be honest.”
“I want more than just a kiss, KK. I want all of you…”
“And you have me. I want to be yours too…”
“But not like this. What we share is pure and wholesome. I feel sex will ruin the beauty of the relationship we have.”
Kokui was speechless, giving Randy room to say what he had rehearsed that morning. “KK, you have more than just a body. You have a beautiful mind that functions faster than many women I know. I have never been so enamored with a woman’s intelligence as I have been of you these past few days. You are more than just a body and I love you. Honestly, I do. But it’s not the kind of love that wants you in my bed. It’s the kind that wants to see you flourish in all that you do.” Randy paused, allowing his information to sink.
Her jaws hung open. She wanted to say something but no words came out. So, Randy continued, “Do I want you in my bed? Hell yeah! Lord knows I’ve thought about it as often as I breathe. But I restrain myself. This is me, KK. I love you for you, not for what I can get from your body. After all, how long will the pleasure last? Why should I sacrifice all the good that you have to offer me for a few minutes of pleasure? I like how I feel about you, to be honest. I will continue to fantasize about you for a long time – I don’t need your permission. But I don’t want to destroy the beauty of our friendship. Here is where we draw the line.”
Kokui blinked. “Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“Randy,” Kokui squinted at him and extricated her hands, “I don’t… friends? With benefits?”
Randy’s eyes widened briefly but composed himself. He hadn’t thought of that angle when he decided to discuss their relationship with Kokui. He let out a puff of air he hadn’t realised he had held.
“How can this be?” Kokui shook her head. “You like me, but you don’t want me. Or you want me, but you don’t. How do we go about that? Why can’t we have it all?”
“What if it doesn’t work out?”
“What if it does?”
“I don’t want to lose you,” Randy whispered.
“What if I come across someone else who wants all of me? My intellect, my body, my soul—everything. What will happen to our ‘friendship’ then?” Kokui stood up and started to pace, rubbing the tops of her arms. This just didn’t add up.
“KK…” Randy implored.
“Stop. Please. I need some time to think.”
Randy parted his lips and shut them, then tried again to speak, only to hesitate. He extended his hand toward his Kokui, but she slipped away from him. He never expected things to unfold like this at all.
Dejected, he moved to the door and held the knob, unable to turn it. He didn’t want to lose her like this.
“Kokui…”
“Go home, Randy, and don’t call me when you arrive.” Her back was turned to him and the door. Randy was sure he heard a whimper. Ah! Why didn’t he just let things flow the way they were and see how matters turned out? Now he had ruined the most beautiful friendship he might have had. His apology was stuck in his throat. Defeated, he walked out into the darkness, unsure of his tomorrow.
