“Before God and our loved ones, I take you as my beloved, forsaking all others, holding fast to you in covenant. As Christ is faithful to the Church, so I vow to be faithful to you, with all my heart, for all my life.”
Forsaking all others… forsaking all… forsaking… Golda slammed the mug down on her kitchen counter so hard that she thought it cracked. She ran her right hand through her braids and looked out the window. The sky was beginning to colour as daybreak approached. She chuckled, turned away from the window and took a deep breath. With that breath came a vivid image of a hotel cabin with only one man in it.
She closed her eyes and attempted to pray, but she couldn’t. She knew she had been forgiven by the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, but whenever she closed her eyes to pray as she did now, she saw Anan. The longer she kept her eyes closed, the more vivid the image got: Anan, leaning over and kissing her. Then he made love to her on her knees from behind with his tongue. The memory alone sent heat waves from her core to the other parts of her body.
When she opened her eyes, her husband was entering the kitchen. She went over to him and kissed him fiercely, her desire fighting for expression. “Make love to me,” she whispered urgently, grabbing his shorts and tugging it down.
Her husband broke away from her, his face cloudy. “What’s wrong with you?! I haven’t even brushed my teeth!”
“I don’t care, Elias. Do a quick one now. Please.” Then Golda turned around at the counter and raised her nightdress, bending forward slightly in front of her husband. “I’m already ready. Come on, let’s be fast before the children wake up… Elias?”
“Jesus!” he said, looking out the window to be sure no one saw them and pulled down his wife’s dress. “Get up!” he commanded. He was angry now. “What has come over you, Golda? Is this the right place for this? Get a hold of yourself. Goodness!”
Golda’s mouth hung open. She turned around slowly, liquid embarrassment falling down her cheeks, but her husband was already on his way out of the kitchen. He stopped at the doorway and threw back at her, “Am I a dog to take you like this? Am I a barbarian? Are you a whore? You’re better than this.” And he left, speaking in tongues.
Golda felt that if the kitchen had no tiles, he would have spat his disgust. She put her hands on her chest, her nipples sharply reminding her of what she had been denied. Golda took in a deep breath and returned to her stove, her mind on the other man who would have satisfied her there and then. She shook her head firmly, reduced the heat under her utensils and went to the bedroom.
Elias was pulling up his trousers when she entered. Golda knelt before him, held down his trousers and attempted to get to his member. Her husband jumped back and shouted, “Blood of Jesus! Woman, what has come over you this morning? Have some respect for yourself.” He snatched his suit and his briefcase while clutching at his open trousers, shaking his head as he exited their bedroom. Golda wept.
In a daze, she returned to the kitchen and finished her cooking on autopilot. She packed her children’s bags and her husband’s lunch, and she went to get ready for work, knowing fully that even though Elias was angry with her, he would still get the children dressed and drop them off at school like he always did.
To be continued.
